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How to Cultivate Romance in a Season of Shelter-In Place

Being together with my husband, waking up next to him, and spending the day together is something I cherish each day.

My husband and I met at work and we continued to work together when we were newlyweds. I remember I would take my breaks to be with him and some of our coworkers didn't understand how we could be married and still take our breaks together. They would say, "You're together all the time." I would tell them, "I married him because I enjoy spending time with him."

Daily shared activities really matter in keeping relationships thriving. Although my husband is our amazing family chef, during this remote work season when we are both spending each waking moment together, we have the freedom to make breakfast for one another and spend some time connecting, whether in small, silly talk, or deep conversations. Getting inside his mind really excites me. I love knowing what makes my husband happy, what he thinks about politics and religion, and dreaming about our future plans. Whether we are sticking to a schedule or partaking in new activities, spending time with my husband is what brings sugar and spice to our life together.

During this season of shelter-in place, it can definitely put a wrinkle in the excitement of any relationship; not being able to go out on a date, a picnic, or bask in the sun. When I think about the opportunities we've shared at home, however, I can look back at the many wonderful memories my husband and I have created in our own home. One of my favorite memories is our five year wedding anniversary. We didn't plan an extravagant night out. We actually planned a romantic dinner in and turned our living room into a picnic scene, dinner for two only. Whether it's at home or out on the town, it's hard to beat quality time with the one you love. Make this time count.

  • What are the "new normals" you are creating during this season of being at home with your spouse every day?

  • Is there a new tradition you can start today that will help you remember this time in a positive way?

  • What are you and your spouse learning through this season and how is it helping you to grow and fall in love each day all over again?

One of my favorite episodes in the TV show, Boy Meets World, is the scene where Cory and Topanga first move into an old apartment after getting married. The apartment needed major repairs so they decided to ask Corey's parents for money. To their surprise, however, they did not get the support that they were looking for. This event left them having to figure things out on their own. Through a sequence of events they tried to make things better, and they found that working through their circumstances helped to make their marriage stronger. What seemed like a disappointing journey at first, turned out to be a wonderful adventure.

Life circumstances don't always go our way. Sometimes we get lemons and we make lemonade. In our marriages, everyday life means going to work, raising kids, going to one activity after another with little time for self-care, and living with sleep deprivation. The list is endless. Yet, we also experience family gatherings and celebrations, the arrival of a child, weddings, graduations, soccer games, music recitals, picnics, road trips, and other life adventures.

It's in times of adversity, when we are tested, that we learn to trust each other more deeply, our relationship is strengthened, and we are grateful to be with the one we love. Our marriage takes on a renewed commitment as we realize what is most important.

One day, I want to look back at this "shelter-in place" season and know that we took the opportunity to be intentional with our time together, laughing together, and creating new memories.

  • Take this time to dream, laugh, and create something new in your relationship.

  • Don't look back with regret at the "should haves" and missed opportunities.

  • Let today be a new beginning as you reignite the flame of your marriage to a new and deeper level of closeness and intimacy.

This season of uncertainty can make your marriage stronger as you look back five years from now and know you weathered the storm together. Take time to cherish each day as husband and wife. This time is a gift from God. As for my husband and I, we will look back at this time and how we got through it, and how it made our love grow and our marriage stronger.

As iron sharpens iron, so does a husband and wife bring out the best in each other.

Proverbs 27:17


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