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Three Ways To Rock Your Marriage!

I have a great marriage! I'll just start with that. Here's the thing; you can have a great marriage too!

I have an amazing marriage and here's what I love about my husband. Aside from our love for one another and our mutual respect, what makes our marriage healthy and thriving is my husband cherishes me, empathizes with where I'm coming from, and edifies who I am. Let me explain.

I grew up in a broken home. My parents divorced when I was 16 years old. I went from having a great childhood to dad walking out the door. We lived in a nice home growing up and then we had to move to a bad part of town. We went from good times to food stamps. Times were hard. I lost my sense of security and safety and had to find my new place of belonging in the world.

My husband had a much different upbringing. He grew up in a secure, two parent home, siblings, love, acceptance, and belonging. He was able to go to a great college, have a career, and have amazing friends who are still a part of his life.

Through the meshing of our lives as husband and wife, we have learned to navigate the terrain of our two worlds. Initially, I lived in the fear that, as my dad had left us, so would my husband leave one day. My husband entered my world in a way that helped me break out of being that scared little girl I had become. We reached a place of trust and vulnerability I so desperately wanted in our marriage. He was able to understand my story, by empathizing with where I had come from; a place of fear, abandonment, and insecurity. In so doing, I felt loved, cherished, and a sense of belonging where there had once been doubt and distress.

  • Will our marriage work?

  • Will you leave me, like my father did?

  • Will you accept me with all of my baggage? My shame, my fears, my doubts?

I am cherished! I feel loved by the way my husband treats me every day. Every morning when we wake up, he tells me how much he loves me. Every day he spends time with me that lets me know he wants to be with him, that I matter, that our time together is important to him. It's not only in the big things, like our vacations, but in his small actions that express his love for me, such as our walks, our talks, or raising our kids together.

My husband also edifies me in ways that make me feel special. For instance, when we have company over he always gives me some kind of credit for helping in the kitchen, even though I didn't cook the meal. My husband is the cook. I can only cook a limited amount of things. Yet, he will tell our friends how I helped by cutting the lettuce or setting the table or serving the drinks. I always laugh. It's a small jester. I'm always humbled by his desire to include me in conversations. To give me credit, where no credit is due. To have me seen in the best light. He sharpens me and makes me better!

Has our marriage had hiccups along the way? You bet. Do we agree on everything? Not a chance! Do we love each other with the godly love the way a man and women were created to love? Definitely!!!

The secret? We place God at the center of our marriage, our lives, and our hearts. God's love has taught us how to love, how to forgive, how to be humble, and how to have an amazing marriage.

  1. How do you show your spouse you cherish and respect them?

  2. How are you entering your spouse's world that lets them feel you care and empathize with them?

  3. How do you bring out the best in each other so that others see Christ at the center of your marriage?

To cherish, empathize, and edify are just three ways to show your spouse you love them. "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways..." Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"There are three things that amaze me - no, four things that I don't understand: how an eagle glides through the sky, how a snake slithers on a rock, how a ship navigates the ocean, how a man loves a woman." Proverbs 30:18-19


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