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Are You Safeguarding Your Marriage?

I got a call from a friend not too long ago that was having a disagreement with her boyfriend. She told me that he was going to go out with a girl, “just a friend.” She asked what advice I could give her. I asked what she was doing to safeguard her relationship.

One of the reasons I became a SYMBIS (Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts) Facilitator is because SYMBIS is about taking the right steps toward a forever marriage before you even say, “I do!” One of the necessary steps to a forever marriage means asking each other what safeguard measures you will put in place to protect your relationship, your marriage, your vows to God and to each other.

For me, growing up in a broken home meant safeguarding my marriage was not an option; it was vital! Here are some things to consider and discuss with your fiancé or spouse.

  1. Trust and commitment are high on my list, which means we can NEVER lie to each other or keep secrets in our relationship.

  2. Agree to never say the word “divorce,” because saying it will eventually make it so.

  3. The Marriage Triangle teaches us that the closer we are to God, the closer we are to our spouse. When God is at the center of our lives and marriage, our marriage is made strong in Him!

  4. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott tell us to have a married couple mentor us. Marriage Mentors are a more seasoned and experienced couple who come alongside a less experienced couple to help show them the way.

  5. Paul teaches us to use only words that will edify each other. I wake up to compliments from my husband every morning, before I even get out of bed. That just makes my day! I’m beautiful, special, smart, sexy, and wonderful. That’s me! LOL!

  6. Everyday connections mean everyday memories and a stronger marriage! Wash dishes together. Go on picnics. Take walks and talk about your day and your dreams. Text “I love you” or “I’m thinking of you.” Plus, don't forget date nights are an essential ingredient to a thriving marriage.

  7. Set boundaries that will protect your marriage. Dr. Gary Chapman says that if you feel an attraction toward a coworker (for instance), avoid the “drinking fountain.” In other words, don’t frequent a place you know you’ll run into the opposite sex."

Remember why you said "I do"? You married your spouse because you love and cherish him/her. Your spouse is the most precious person to you. A fight should not end in who has the last word or that you won the fight. It's important to remember that you are a team. Ask, "How can we resolve the problem?" How do you love and respect each other as you bring your needs and wants into your marriage? To hurt my husband means that I just hurt the one I love the most. Something doesn’t feel right about that.

Statistics show that over half of marriages end in divorce and that the average divorce is within eight years of marriage.

  1. Are you a newlywed or engaged to be married?

  2. How would you describe your relationship?

  3. Is your marriage thriving?

  4. Are you committed and invested in having a loving, life long marriage?

I have found the one whom my soul loves! Song of Solomon 3:4

These are just a few recommendations on how to safeguard your marriage. For more information about safeguarding your marriage or to schedule a pre-marital or marriage coaching session, e-mail me at

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